I am a Male Survivor

It's likely that you never thought sexual assault could happen to you, probably because we are socialized to see sexual assault as a crime against women, not against men. Because of this, many men have a hard time separating sex from the crime. You have survived a violent assault. Sexual assault is devastating to all victims, regardless of gender, and many reactions are shared by both male and female victims. You may feel rage, shame, guilt, powerlessness, helplessness, concern regarding your safety, and/or symptoms of physical illness.

However, there are special issues that may be different for you such as doubts about your sexuality or masculinity or reluctance to be examined for medical procedures. You may hesitate to report the assault to law enforcement for fear of ridicule or fear that they won't believe you. The same feelings apply to telling other people you know and to finding appropriate resources and support. This is true even if you experienced the assault when you were very young and only now are realizing you need help. You need to know that strong or weak; outgoing or withdrawn; gay, straight, or bisexual; old or young; whatever your physical appearance, you have done nothing that justifies this attack. At no point and under no circumstance does anyone have the right to violate or control another's body. Sexual assault is a crime of violence and power, not of lust or passion.

You may need special support: you may call a crisis line anonymously and request a male counselor; you may request an older or male nurse to assist in your treatment at the hospital; and you can find a support group of male survivors to help you in your healing process.

As a man, many factors or fears may influence your decision to report or not report to law enforcement. The advantages of reporting include:

1) You are eligible to apply for Victims of Violence Crimes Compensation
2) The assailant may be caught and brought to trial;
3) Collection of medical evidence will be paid for by the Commonwealth's Attorney's Office;
4) Your report may help protect others.

There are some disadvantages as well:
1) You may be treated in an insensitive manner;
2) You may not be believed;
3) Prosecution is often unsuccessful.

If you are gay or bisexual, you may feel that somehow you "brought this on" to yourself. You may fear disclosure of your sexual orientation. You may fear for your safety or feel "survivor's guilt" if you survived a hate crime. And you may know your assailant: he could be an acquaintance, a friend, a colleague, a date, a partner. The resources in the back of this handbook can help you find gay-affirmative counseling.

Feeling responsible is a normal reaction to sexual assault. However, sexual assault is never the responsibility of the survivor; you did nothing to deserve this. There are counselors in the area who are skilled in working with male survivors of sexual assault.