Whatever the circumstances of your assault, you may have fears and concerns specifically related to being LBT in addition to those which any woman faces. These concerns may be not only about what occurred during the assault, but about how you will be treated by the health care and criminal justice systems, your friends, family, and, if you are in a relationship, your partner.
Some of the issues you may face are:
- fear of disclosure to friends, family, employers;
- fear that your sexual orientation will be seen as your central "problem" to health care providers, instead of the assault;
- fear of losing custody of your children, if your family or a former male partner learns that you are a lesbian;
- concerns that your case will not be taken seriously because of your sexual orientation;
- fear that you will be arrested for violating Virginia's anti-sodomy laws.
For a woman who has rarely or never experienced heterosexual intercourse, forcible penetration may be particularly frightening or painful. The possibility of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases may be concerns you aren't used to thinking about. It's also possible that you may lose interest in sexual activity or possibly question your sexual orientation after an assault. Even women who feel very comfortable and secure with their sexual orientation may have feelings of vulnerability, guilt or self-blame.
It may be helpful for you to know that you will not be required to disclose your sexual orientation to anyone, unless you choose to do so--even in the emergency room. Try to keep in mind that the emergency room staff must ask questions which presume that you are heterosexual. They need to know if you have had recent voluntary sexual intercourse and use birth control, in order to evaluate your medical needs. If you feel you have been treated badly, or staff reacts uncomfortably to your answers, let the sexual assault center know. Regardless of how you feel about your sexuality--still questioning, closeted, or totally "out"-you are entitled to the same sensitive treatment heterosexual women should receive.
If you suspect or know that the assailant knew you were a lesbian, you may want to report the assault to a hate crime reporting hotline. Anti-gay violence is not considered a hate crime in Virginia, but Virginians for Justice has a reporting hotline in Richmond, as does the US Department of Justice. When reporting to either hotline, you don't have to identify yourself.
If you have a partner, she will have her own set of reactions and feelings about your assault. Those feelings may be intensified if she is a survivor herself.
Above all, it is important to remember that the assault is not something you brought on yourself. This may be hard to acknowledge if you are still coming to terms with your sexuality, or the assailant indicated that he knew you were a lesbian. Self-doubt is a natural by-product of a sexist, homophobic and heterosexist society. You have the right to services that are nonjudgmental and to surround yourself with those who can emotionally support you best through the healing process.
* Gay men may find some of this information useful, although there is more specific information for them in the section, "I Am A Male Survivor".