If you have been sexually assaulted by your mate, you have some medical and legal rights. An important medical right is the right to have a private medical examination without the presence of your partner. Your husband or boyfriend may want to accompany you to the examining room or be present when you are answering questions asked by a health care professional. The physician or nurse can exclude him from the room to ensure your privacy. You also have the right to have treatment for your injuries without having to tell who hurt you. Additionally, you have the right to a pregnancy test and a test for sexually transmitted diseases. You also have the right to refuse to report the assault to a law enforcement officer even if the health care professional suggests that you report it.

You have legal rights if you have been assaulted by your husband. In the Commonwealth of Virginia, it is against the law for your husband to force you to have sex. Virginia has a marital sexual assault law and a marital rape law to protect women from unwanted sexual activity with their spouses. According to the law, it is as serious a crime for your husband to sexually assault you as it is for a stranger to sexually assault you. There are legal options available for you. In Central Virginia, you may call the Charlottesville/Albemarle Legal Aid Society at 977-0553 for more information.

You may have been a victim of other types of violence from your mate. He may have told you often that you were worthless, threatened you or your children, prevented you from having a job, or hit you. This type of behavior is called domestic violence. A study done in 1984 found that almost 78% of women who had been victims of domestic violence had also been forced to have sex with their husbands without giving consent.

Remember, no woman deserves to be sexually assaulted by her husband or by anyone else. There are some reasons, however, that you may have submitted to sexual pressure from your husband:

• Your husband physically overpowered you.
• You were afraid that your husband might harm you or the children if you resisted.
• You believed that you should submit to him because you are his wife.
• You were afraid that he would abandon you or stop financially supporting you and your children if you resisted.
• You wanted him to stop being angry.
• You thought that he might change and be nice again if you gave in to him.

All the reasons listed above are understandable because you were trying to survive and do the best you could. But remember, no one has the right to force you to do anything sexually that you do not want to do. If you want to talk about your feelings and have some support for what you're going through, contact either the SARA or SHE 24 hour hotline.